Seems like everyone in the U.S. knew I was at home today working on my new book.  Unbeliveable how many calls I got today.  Calls about “blue flu”, something about a new ”zone diet” or something like that and even a couple of call-backs for interviews.  Got a couple of good interviews coming up for you next month.

Another thing that is unbelievable:  the number of pages I completed in the new book today – three!  Hmmm!

It’s a good thing I had the book to work on though since most of the phone calls got me boiling mad.  Well, not really boiling mad; my new medicine keeps me from boiling but I can still stay at a steady simmer.  Not much sense in going through the whole day and telling the whole story about one field service company’s attempt to get in the Guinness World Records book.  They are trying to gain notoriety as the first company to have committed all the deadly sins.  You know; the Bible stuff: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.  I covered gluttony and greed in an earlier post.

Looks like this company is working on lust now.  Lust when used as a verb: “Have a craving, appetite, or great desire for”.  Craving, appetite or great desire for what?  Well, I think it is the total destruction of as many lives, families and incomes as possible.  But as I said, no sense in going over all that stuff.  Instead, I’m going to talk about things in the field service business that are not openly discussed.  Lets talk about liability and lawsuits.  Now, keep in mind, that I am not an attorney and I don’t give legal advice.  All of this is just the observation of a silly old guy that has done probably in excess of 120,000 field inspections and talks to about sixty or so reps a week, and so on and so forth… and… knows how to research court records!

Since I don’t write fiction too often, let’s make this an entirely fictitious scenario; it’ll give me some practice with fiction:

It was a dark and stormy night in a galaxy far, far away.  Al Gore had just finished inventing an internet thingy and all the multitudes were amazed, and said, Can this be?  How will this affect reomac? 

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field and stayed awake at night listening to “I Can’t Sleep at Night” by The Deadly Snakes (Ode To Joy album) all the while planning complete dominance of the field services business by using the internet thingy as a new weapon against individual rights and religious freedom.

The Serpent planned to use the internet to spread it’s ideology, to recruit, train and motivate field service reps; and to plan secret nightly attacks on field service reps PC’s and to not openly communicate with anyone.  The plan was perfect:  “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.  Hit it.”

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Buddy Hacket was helping the Serpent memorize Buddy’s Mom’s menu which consisted of two choices:  take it or leave it.  Incredibly, at the same point in time, at a hotel in California, the “new kid in town” devised a new field service business plan whereby one could make a good living doing inspections for a dollar less and without even leaving the house.  The new business plan hinged on taking advantage of digital photography. There is no film to buy, no delay while it is being processed, and no wasted shots. Although the cameras may not be free and if you ignore the small amount of battery power needed, the chargers, the cases, the replacement cameras, etc. - the cost per photo is next to nothing so uploading dozens or hundreds of photos for free would actually be no problem.  The plan was perfect: “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.  Hit it.”

The new kid in town planned to LLC his new business as Cain & Able Field Services but had to abruptly change the name to Sucker’s Field Services after being beguiled by the Serpent who is now a Chicago fanatic and incessantly hums “All Is Well” from the Chicago V album.

Yes, all is well.  Life is good.  Sucker’s Field Services is a huge success for the Serpent.  Eventually though, Cain recognizes that there are no records of work done.  There are no provisions to research past inspections.  All of this is Al Gore’s fault, cries Cain!  If it wasn’t for his internet thingy …  wait, I’ll go to my friend the Serpent.  Surely this subpoena is all a big mistake.  Why didn’t I keep my own record of events instead of letting the Serpent talk me into doing my desktop inspections on the laptop.  In real tiime!

“While The City Sleeps”, track 6, Chicago V album has absolutely no relationship to the fact that most Independent Contractor Agreements are worthless for an IRS 1099 employee or independent contractor. Tax and insurance examiners ignore Independent Contractor Agreements unless they confirm that relationships meet many federal and state tests for independent contractors. Companies cannot use Independent Contractor Agreements that ignore where, when and how jobs are done; pay rates, length of service; business expenses; facility and tool investment; printing business cards; service to others; benefits; and much more.

Cain did not have a clue about CLUE.  He had never seen his CLUE report and insurance score and was clueless as to why his liablity and E&O insurance policy would not renew.  Under the guise of researching the true meaning of life and Rush Limbaugh’s private telephone number, he did discover the CLUE report and the insurance scoring system are tools insurers use to decide your risk profile, that is, how likely you are to file a claim against your policy. Insurers feed information about paid claims – perhaps even your inquiries about coverage that do not result in a claim – into a national database for use by insurers. Information included in the database, along with your insurance score, makes up your risk profile. Insurers use the profile to decide whether you get new insurance. At renewal time, your current insurer will probably review your claims history as well as your current insurance score to set your premiums - even to decide if you get to keep the insurance you have. When you shop for new insurance, the company may order a CLUE report.

Cain thought it odd that the Serpent’s telephone system now answers with a recording of track 7 from the Chicago V album: “Goodbye”.  Incredibly, at the same point in time, at a hotel in California, the “new kid in town” devised a new field service business plan wherby one could make a good living doing inspection for a dollar less without leaving home.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the Serpent is listening to “Saturday in the Park”, track 7 from the Chicago V album.